Prime Minister James Marape and the people of New Guinea deserve an apology from President Biden who told a dumb story about his uncle who disappeared and the family legend that he may have been eaten by cannibals.
It was a stupid thing to say. There is no excuse but it may put things into perspective for Prime Minister Marape to understand the deep cultural fascination and long history Americans have with cannibalism, and the humor we seem to find about eating other people.
In recent years as many as 1/3 of Republican supporters believed the government was secretly controlled by a cabal of pedophile cannibals. Hillary Clinton, it is said, was a cannibal. I say “was” because some people believe she died from a brain wasting disease associated with cannibalism. QAnon was a rabbit hole of cannibal lore and I’m done talking about it.
We all remember Jeffrey Dahmer because he killed young men and kept their heads in the refrigerator to cannibalize.
Cannibalism was a big thing among Americans in the Old West. The legendary Donner party is a running joke on the Simpsons, because … Americans cannot get enough cannibalism humor.
Some years ago I visited Virginia City, Montana which was once a bustling gold mining town but today enjoys a tourism economy based on its history. You can go there and wander around the western style town, visit the local museum, and even wander up to Boot Hill where notorious outlaws are buried, including Boone Helm and Clubfoot George Lane who were part of a group of highwaymen “brought to justice” by the Montana Vigilantes. You can see Clubfoot George’s desiccated foot in the museum, or you could when I visited. Apparently some locals didn’t believe George had been captured and hung so they dug him up and cut off his foot to display in the saloon to prove he was dead. But that isn’t the cannibalism part.
The cannibal was Boone Helm, and here I’ll turn things over to Joe Shelton to provide details:
“A survivalist, murderer, thief, cutthroat and self-professed cannibal, Helm was born in Kentucky but made his way all over the West. The noted braggart often claimed to have eaten people, but his first confirmed experience of cannibalism was when he was stranded during a Idaho winter with a man named Burton. They had already killed and eaten their horses, and Helm was off foraging when he heard what may have been a welcome sound for a man as amoral as himself: a gunshot. His last surviving companion had shot himself, so Helm availed himself of the culinary chance provided.
By the time that Helm was apprehended by the Vigilantes in Montana he claimed to have killed or eaten quite a few more men, including people who had defended him, hid him from the authorities, and provided him with second chances. Helm was a born outlaw, the kind of man who might be labeled a psychopath today, but in his day was a dime novel legend known as the Kentucky Cannibal.
He was also an inveterate and unrepentant showman. The story goes that on his last day, after lying under oath about his activities (and kissing the bible) [mike here making an editorial comment that this is not coverage of the Trump trial], he made a last request for some whiskey. Though some of the assembled were offended that a man would meet the Lord with whiskey on his breath, that last kindness was given to him all the same. Then one by one the hangman dispatched the five road agents, although some reports have it that Helm wouldn't give him the satisfaction, jumping off the gallows before they could pull the lever. Others have him egging the hangman on.”
So, President Biden, and all Americans owe Prime Minister Marape an apology for our dumb fascination with cannibalism. And here in Warren County, NY, named for Revolutionary War hero Dr. Joseph Warren who deserves recognition in our local historical society (not for cannibalism) but perhaps not $1 million of bed tax money for a whole museum devoted to him. If we can feature some local cannibals an investment in the local museum might be worth the investment. It’s hard to imagine we don’t have a local cannibal in our past. What about Robert Garrow? Was he a cannibal?